Have you ever had that team member that is just rude to you, for no reason? Do your opinions and suggestions often fall on deaf ears? Maybe you’re wondering why they don’t like you or if you’re doing anything wrong.
What even is respect anyway? It is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.
I am under the clear understand that respect is earned. Respecting others and also being a good person, unfortunately, isn’t enough anymore. There are some people within each working environment that feel a sense of entitlement and believe that they are owed respect.
If you are the type of person who thrives off of working at a high quality, offers support to your team and has the genuine goal of having successful days as a team, because you respect everyone – then you probably deserve respect.
Let’s face it, everyone in your team is valuable. Everyone has different qualities to offer – sometimes people just don’t mesh. But let’s break down five ways below where we can put energy into gaining respect off of our team members, without forcing it.
01: Credit Where Due.
If you’ve recently completed an impressive, laborious piece of work, try and make key people aware of what you’ve done. If you’re constantly downplaying your abilities or if you’re being too humble, you may be shooting yourself in the foot. We aren’t saying write your achievements in the sky or brag about how amazing you are. But, don’t be too quiet about your successes. Sometimes, this can backfire and discredit your efforts. One thing to try is carbon copying your managers into important and impressive emails (not everyone, you may spam them and have a completely different effect to what you wished) but judge which emails are worth their attention. Maybe once you’ve completed a project, broadcast it for feedback in your team. Subconsciously, they will recognise your efforts, your contributions and ultimately gain respect for the hard work that you put in.
02: Quality > Quantity.
In your meetings, is there one member who has to not just put in their five cents; but maybe a couple of dollars’ worth of their insights? Is this person you?... Nobody likes someone who has too many suggestions or thinks that everyone thrives off of hearing their voice. By sitting back, hearing everyone else’s suggestions and then complementing each person’s thoughts and views, finally to then bringing up your suggestion. You will gain credibility amongst your team.
03: Deal with the Users & Abusers.
It’s very likely that if you’re not respected, it's partly down to people taking advantage of your good nature and this definitely has to stop. Every business has staff, the people who cut corners, show up when they want to, leave before their time and walk around as though they are entitled, who get others to do their work and take the credit for it. Any healthy relationship is a two-way street. If you feel as though you’re being used, test the boundaries within the relationship and see if the other party is as happy to help you as you help them. If they aren’t willing to help you, remember this. Remember this the next time that they ask you for help. Stand your ground and politely say that you are too busy to help them.
04: Say No Deal to the Office Bully.
Okay, not every office has one – but the ones that do, know about it.
Their humour is like a hate filled jam donut. Doughy banter, filled with passive aggressive jam that only a particular group of people will get. They are the people that treat others like garbage because it gives them a buzz. They pick on the easy targets, maybe the younger team members. Humans have pack mentality; how this person treats you, sets the tone for the way others treat you. Deal with the bully and you’ll deal with the rest.
So how do you deal with the bully?
Firstly, it’s important not to be passive aggressive back. Don’t give them the feedback or the reaction that they want. Call the bully out for their rubbish, be realistic and also take emotion out of the situations. Not allowing a bully to see you as a soft target, will earn you respect. It may take some time, it may get ugly before you see the rays of the sun – but stand your ground, in a gentle manner.
05: DONT EXCEPT RESPECT
The biggest issue that we have is that people expect respect. Just because you have a fancy job title, you're more experienced or you're older - it doesn't mean that you are owed respect. People who deserve respect understand that everyone is equal and being respected is a privilege. Don't expect anything from anyone.
The human subconscious is by far the biggest driver in forming our opinions of others. By using these soft techniques, you will hopefully see improvements and find that your team members and your boss are more interested in what you have to say, appreciate what you do and deliver the respect that you deserve for all of the hard work that you do.
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